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Writer's pictureNofar Van Frank

Cyberbullying: what exactly is it and how do you deal with it as a parent?

Imagine your child excitedly sharing their day online, only to be met with cruel messages or hateful rumors.  Unfortunately, this scenario – cyberbullying – is a growing threat facing kids today. Unlike traditional bullying, it can happen anywhere, anytime, leaving children feeling constantly under siege.  With more and more kids active online, it's crucial for parents to be equipped to help them navigate this digital landscape safely. This post will empower you with steps to protect your child and guide them through the emotional rollercoaster of cyberbullying and give you as a parents tools in handeling it.




What is cyberbullying?

Online bullying, also known as cyberbullying or digital bullying, is bullying via digital media. These are social media such as WhatsApp, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat or TikTok. Online bullying feels safe for the perpetrator because no one can see, recognize or chase him/her. The anonymity and reach of the internet make it an accessible way for bullies to reach and hurt their victims.


The Characteristics of Cyberbullying:

  • It can happen in the safe environment of the victim.

  • Sometimes the victim doesn't know who the bully is.

  • The victim feels as if he cannot stop it.

  • There are no bystanders able to help the victim.

  • Bullying can also continue somewhere else, for example at school.


Forms of cyberbullying:

Cyberbullying can occur in a variety of ways, using a variety of online and digital resources. Below are some common examples:


  1. Informative massage:

  • Offensive or threatening messages: This can include texts, photos, or videos that are intended to hurt, belittle, or scare the victim. This can happen through chat messages, social media, forums, or other online platforms.

  • Gossiping and spreading lies: Online, rumors and false claims can spread like wildfire. Bullies can use fake news or manipulated photos to portray the victim in a bad light.

  • Shameful or compromising photos or videos: Bullies can post photos or videos of the victim online that are intended to humiliate or embarrass them. This could include inappropriate or revealing photos, or images that were taken without consent.


2. Exclusion and intimidation:

  • Exclusion from online groups or chats: The victim may be deliberately excluded from online groups or chats where they connect with friends or classmates. This can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness.

  • Repeated bullying or threats: Bullies may relentlessly harass the victim with messages, calls, or videos online. This can cause anxiety, stress, and panic attacks.

  • Stalking: In extreme cases, cyberbullying can escalate into online stalking. The stalker may constantly monitor, control, and threaten the victim, making them feel unsafe and afraid.


3. Hacking and identity abuse:

  • Account hacking: Bullies can hack into the victim's online accounts, such as their email, social media, or bank accounts. They can then use these accounts to send messages, steal personal information, or even steal money.

  • Identity theft: The victim's identity can be misused online to create fake accounts, spread false messages, or even make online purchases.


In addition to these examples, there are countless other ways in which children can bully each other online.


How common does cyberbullying occur?

According to the Netherlands Youth Institute, cyberbullying is a growing concern among Dutch children. In 2021, 11% of students in grades 6 to 8 reported being bullied, with 10% of those cases involving online harassment. This figure has increased from 12% in 2018.

The issue is particularly prevalent among adolescents, with 16% of 11-15 year olds experiencing cyberbullying. Notably, there is no significant gender disparity, as both boys and girls are equally affected. Alarmingly, 12% of young people admit to cyberbullying others.

Cyberbullying can start early, even as young as grade 6, often coinciding with children receiving their first phones, often hand-me-downs from their parents. At this age, children may not fully understand online boundaries, making it crucial to educate them about appropriate online behavior. you can read more about social media information in my previous post.



How to prevent cyberbullying: tips for parents and child


Cyberbullying is not a trivial issue; it's a serious form of harassment with far-reaching consequences for the victim. The emotional toll of cyberbullying can be profound, leading to intense anxiety, prolonged depression, severe panic attacks, and even suicidal thoughts. Victims often experience flashbacks, sleep disturbances, and intense anger.

This detrimental impact underscores the urgent need to address cyberbullying with seriousness and openness, ensuring that victims receive adequate support and intervention. By raising awareness and taking proactive measures, we can work together to create a safer online environment where everyone feels protected and respected.


Empowering Parents to Combat Cyberbullying:

1. Foster Open Communication:

  • Create a safe and supportive environment where your child feels comfortable discussing their online experiences, both positive and negative.

  • Encourage them to share their thoughts, feelings, and concerns about cyberbullying without fear of judgment or reprisal.

  • Normalize conversations about online safety, making it an ongoing dialogue rather than a one-time discussion.

2. Promote Responsible Online Behavior:

  • Instill in your child the importance of treating others with respect and kindness in the online realm, just as they would in the physical world.

  • Educate them about the potential consequences of their online actions, emphasizing the impact their words and actions can have on others.

  • Encourage them to be critical consumers of online information, teaching them to verify sources and identify potential biases.

3. Establish Clear Guidelines:

  • Collaborate with your child to establish clear guidelines for their online activities, including acceptable websites, social media usage, and online communication practices.

  • Discuss appropriate sharing of personal information, emphasizing the importance of protecting their privacy and safety.

  • Set time limits for screen time to promote a healthy balance between online and offline activities.

4. Remain Vigilant:

  • Be observant of changes in your child's behavior, such as sudden mood swings, withdrawal from social activities, or a reluctance to use their devices.

  • Monitor their online activity without being intrusive, using parental control tools if necessary.

  • Stay informed about the latest cyberbullying trends and strategies to keep your child updated and protected.

5. Offer Help and Support:

  • If you suspect your child is being cyberbullied, provide unwavering support and reassurance.

  • Encourage them to document the cyberbullying incidents, including screenshots, messages, or emails.

  • Reach out to your child's school counselor or a specialized cyberbullying support organization for guidance and assistance.


Navigating the Online World Safely: A Guide for Children

1. Protect Your Personal Information:

  • Be cautious about sharing personal information, such as your address or phone number, with people you don't know online.

  • Remember that once you post something online, it can be difficult or even impossible to remove it completely.

2. Manage Your Privacy Settings:

  • Most social media platforms allow you to customize your privacy settings. Take advantage of these options to control who can see your profile and posts.

3. Treat Others with Respect:

  • Golden Rule: Treat others online the way you would want to be treated. Avoid responding to negative or hurtful messages.

  • Refrain from bullying or making mean comments.

4. Block Bullies:

  • If you encounter cyberbullying, utilize the blocking feature available on most platforms. This will prevent the bully from sending you messages or viewing your profile.

5. Seek Help and Support:

  • If you are being cyberbullied, don't hesitate to reach out for help. Talk to a trusted adult, such as a parent, teacher, friend, or a counselor.

  • You are not alone, and there are people who can help you deal with cyberbullying.


Collaboration is important!

The internet can be a wonderful tool, but it can also be a breeding ground for cyberbullying. If your child is being targeted, it's crucial to take action. The first step is to gather evidence.  Screenshots of messages and posts are vital for documentation.

When the bullying becomes severe, don't hesitate to escalate the issue.  Work with your child to inform the school and, if necessary, involve the police.

Remember, you're not alone.  Together, we can make a difference.  Open communication between parents, children, schools, and support agencies is essential to creating a safe online environment for everyone.


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